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Monday, July 13th, 2009
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9:57 am - rip moon
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my friend moon saito passed away on friday morning. we had been trying to get together for dinner for a few weeks and our schedules wouldn't match up. the last time we had dinner a month ago, i brought ryan and we went to 3660 and he had fun ordering for us, showing ryan the best things russell cooks. it was actually russell who called to give me the news on friday night... otherwise i wouldn't have known. unlike with goro, i didn't really know moon's family at all.
the last time we talked on the phone, he said, 'i miss you, pal,' as he often said, this year, especially. i told him i missed him too and promised we'd get together soon. that was right before the 4th of july; he wanted us to come over to watch fireworks at his place with the spectacular view, but ryan and i were heading down to magic island to watch it up close. but last week tuesday he had a massive stroke and was in hospice care until he passed on friday. i wish i had a chance to say goodbye.
he was 89 and had an amazing life, so his passing isn't exactly a tragedy ... but i will miss him terribly all the same. i'm really glad i took him to chopsticks and wine last year and he got to meet so many of my friends and even my mom and cousin. i'm so lucky i got to spend so much time with him. he taught me a lot about wine and was such a wonderful example of a devoted husband. he was a dear friend.
salut, moon... i'll see you again someday.
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| Wednesday, July 8th, 2009
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1:17 pm - a new book
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so i take a lot of pictures, right. and i can sometimes take a lot of video. basically, i like to document life. i am also a packrat. so, this means that i have a lot of crap in my house. actually, 'a lot' is an understatement. i have enough crap to make me look a little crazy, i think, so it's a good thing that other than having a lot of crap, i think i'm pretty sane.
so anyway. it probably seems pretty quick (it seems quick because it IS quick; don't worry, i'm aware), but ryan's going to move in. it's kinda like... we hit it off, and dated for a week, and then we were together and he didn't really go back to his own home except to grab clothes. other than him going to work and golfing a couple times and me going to a few dinners and events, we've been pretty much inseparable since. so it seemed kinda wasteful to have two places when we were always at mine.
there was a bit of minor freaking out on both our parts, i think; freaking out for him because if anything happened he'd be homeless (whereas it's my place; if it didn't work out with us i'd still have a home) and freaking out for me because omg, how am i going to fit another person in here? granted, it's a 3 bedroom, but after scott moved out almost four years ago, i accumulated a lot more stuff. plus jay will be visiting very soon. this place is in serious upheaval.
so, it's a bit of life change, which is good. lori and my mom are actually thrilled, and they're both smart, stable women for the most part (heehee), so i don't think i'm doing anything rash. it's not always about time; it's about trust and compatibility and for me, gut feelings. i knew what bothered me about previous bfs right away and decided those faults/traits weren't dealbreakers because i could make up for them, and of course in the end, years later i realized that while i can make up for them, it's a lot of work and i don't want to do it anymore. i only recently discovered that 'doesn't do dumb stuff' as a personality trait is huge. HUUUUGE. i've been doing damage control and dealing with ineptness and cleaning up messes for years and was always walking around with a low grade anxiety, wondering when the next stupid thing would be done and how i would fix it. the fact that ryan doesn't do dumb stuff seriously thrills me. it's kinda sad that something that seems so basic is such a big deal to me.
it's kinda like for the past i don't know how many years, i've had bfs (or close friendships) with the bells and whistles, glitter, excitement and whathaveyou. but they lacked a solid foundation of their own, and inevitably, pretty, sparkly things without a foundation will implode. ryan's the opposite. he's pretty much the most stable person i've been with. and it's his solid foundation that makes him pretty and sparkly to me. instead of stressing me out, he makes me laugh. instead of creating messes that i feel i have to deal with, he cleans up. instead of draining me of energy and time and care and every resource i have, he bestows those things on me and enjoys doing it.
so. since he's moving in, i need to make space for him. and if it were me moving into his place, i wouldn't appreciate the vast volumes of photos of him with his exes, so i've been going through years and years of pictures and i'm relegating them to bankers boxes to be stored at my mom's house (she doesn't know yet, but i gave her some dishes the other night and when she protested i was like, 'we all have to do our part to make room for ryan.' heehee! he took care of her when she was feeling dizzy... we took her to the er last month. she's okay, but the way he took care of her won major bonus points with me). and in going through those photos, i'm transported back in time to 2001, 2002, 2003... 2005. i even have stuff from '99 when lori moved to vegas. we looked like little kids.... i guess we were little kids. and i thought i left all the college stuff at my old room in my mom's house, but i brought some of that too. it's amazing how much stuff goes on in ten years. or eight years. i'm glad i take so many photos. i'm glad i write captions ... they make me laugh when i read them years later.
there are SO many pictures of jon and his stupid campaign. i know i'm an awesome friend and everything, but his campaign really was a huge part of my life and i was surprised at my own dedication through all those photos. in many ways i was and probably still am his memory. and the little lawyers.... there were so many photos of them, too. it also surprised me how many pictures of outings and events with them that lori is in... she went to the big island with us and to darren and lisa's house for 4th of july in '04... we did a lot of stuff together. and of course scott... we went a lot of places and did a lot of stuff. it's also interesting (and horrific) to see how fat i got when i was unhappy. i suppose i also became thin when i was sad a couple times, but sad thin seems way healthier than sad fat. and i look way better. :P
so anyway. i've been going through that stuff and shutting the door on it. i have four bankers boxes full of binders with photos from those years (wtf!) and they're really heavy. i still have major photos to go through from 2006 on, but it should be easier separating the bk pix since he wasn't really in my life, he was just sort of disrupting it and making it crazy.
ryan said yesterday that it feels like he's starting a new chapter in his life. i agreed, but after mulling it in the back of my head for a while i think it's actually more like a new book for me. the scott/jon/little lawyer years were their own book. the insane, event, excitement and travel packed life i led after scott but which still included jon, working on the movie, dating various exciting people, etc. is its own book.
this new book seems like it's not going to be as exciting to read or write about, but i feel like i'm still in the prologue and it's already extremely satisfying. like beef stew on a cold night, or shave ice on a hot day. actually, beef stew is always satisfying.
like, i could actually go somewhere with this book.
and not kill myself doing it.
or my soul.
what a great concept!
...
in other news, goro gave me a massive chunk of ahi the other day (which he said i had to cook, not eat as sashimi) so i finally got to try making nitsuke. it always seemed pretty easy but for some reason i never tried it. kinda like making hamachi kama... i always wanted to try making that, so i finally made it last month (and i also got a small moi in case the hamachi kama didn't turn out well). and it was quite yummy and totally easy. brush some olive oil on it, sprinkle hawaiian salt and pepper, and broil.... easy peasy. but make sure you have grated fresh daikon and ponzu.
also, steve finally re-wrote my vision statement for the movie and in his email asked, 'still game?' i am still weighing that question in my mind. there has got to be a way to get this done without killing myself. if we can find that way, then yes, i am still game. if we can't, then obviously i'm out.
i also have to figure out what to do with 2000+ yards of fabric that doesn't move in the form of dresses. it's white on ivory hawaiian print rayon. i'm thinking chair covers. like, to sell. unfortunately my sewer is raising his price for sewing... he said the price he did it for last time was a mistake. darn. he also doesn't sew dresses anymore and is moving warehouse so i need to move my fabric. argh, argh, argh. i swear running my business used to be a lot easier and cheaper than it is now.
oh. and i need to find a new place to get fabric. not that i didn't know this. but mike my fabric guy quit his job (not that i was going to buy from them again anyway; the owner of the company is a total ass and it's a long story) and that was the nail in the coffin.
oh. and they aren't being very nice to me at the swap meet. i realize (and have always realized it; i can read) that they don't allow cars to park by the vendors' stalls, but seriously, if i'm a regular customer and i'm driving in (carefully and totally thoughtful of walking customers following the rules) because i don't want to carry ten pounds of fricken shell leis to my car which is half a stadium away, if you were the stadium wouldn't you just let me do it instead of threatening to tow me? because really people, the economy is totally sucking ass and half my vendors don't even GO to the swap meet anymore because there aren't enough PEOPLE to buy things from them. so why would you piss off the loyal customers who continue to patronize you? sometimes hawaii is so ass backwards. really... they used to see me buying stuff close to my illegally parked car and would just wave happily. which is what they should do. oh well... maybe someone got hit or something. but still...
i suppose that's a lot of business venting. but i guess in this economy, my complaints are mild. and i'm super grateful for that.
a lot has been going on, i guess.
...
this whole 'making room for ryan' thing is actually a super large project. if you've seen my house in the past year or so (meaning the two other rooms too, not just the living room) you know what i'm talking about. which is what i've been wanting for a while, right? a new project. so in the beginning when i was still freaking out a little bit, it was this huge project and i thought, am i crazy? but then i realized that ryan would be helping me (and he has already demonstrated his cleaning/organizing prowess; trust me, he's pretty formidable... i know) and it's become fun to get rid of stuff. how perfect is that?
anyway, i need to go pick up some uh stuff to send to la for the la hoolaulea at alondra park... so... i will see you later.
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| Tuesday, June 30th, 2009
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1:38 pm - the tipping me point
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so back in april i said i was waiting to be tipped, right, and i still am. i mean, i'm not necessarily waiting for anyone in particular to tip me; it's not their job. my happiness is my own responsibility. but (and this is the difference) now i realize that if anyone's going to offer me help, i should take it. and be happy about it... not feel guilty that i got helped.
but life has been nice, if somewhat uneventful. i do miss being at the epicenter of activity, but ... hey, what can you do if you don't believe in the epicenter anymore? or if you're just tired? not much. you just sit it out and go back in if you feel like it later.
one thing though; someone sent out a mass email to the vet community and said i was 'taking a tv crew to bruyeres' to shoot the 65th anniversary in october. and i'm so not. and the vets seemed to be upset about it; eddie in particular. he said he's going to bawl this person out for me. which isn't really necessary; granted, i didn't appreciate the misinformation being sent out (and i quickly sent out an email of my own saying no, i'm not going, this is what the idea was but didn't happen, etc.), but eddie felt it was wrong to use my name. so it's nice to feel protected, even if only verbally.
it is also nice to feel like i have a partner now. ryan is just... great. so normal. so nice. so helpful. he is all in. this morning i realized that omg, THIS is what it feels like to have someone pull his own weight? holy crap, it rocks. because really, he's been carrying me at times... with my emotional burnout and all. but it's so freaking nice. it's like i've forgotten what it's like to have someone have my back. or maybe i never knew. like, in a boyfriend that is. he's stable and i don't feel like i have to coddle him or peel him off the floor or shield him or make sure i don't hurt his fragile feelings or make him cry. i don't feel guilty taking anything from him even if it's only fair (give and take, man!) because i wonder if he can actually afford it (financially and emotionally). i don't tense up when i want to hang out with any of my guy friends because i know there's a fight ahead. and if i needed a hug, i got one... i didn't get yelled at instead (wtf, right!?). it's nice to be taken care of. how could i not have known this for so long?
i am suddenly not deathly tired or apathetic at the thought of actually caring. because i feel like hey, i have a pretty decent teammate. we're on the same team here. we aren't in separate games on separate fields. i'm thinking that's what i need to not feel movie apathy, as well. it's amazing how much energy i can get from the belief that i'm not going to have to do all the work.
it's kinda funny... as i tell lori, i'm in relationship rehab. it's almost like i don't know how to be in a healthy relationship anymore (i just have vague memories), so i have to bounce things off her and she points stuff out to me and i'm like, 'ohhhhh. good point.' i think all the trauma from the past five years or so has left me in a state of actually doubting my feelings and judgments (don't like it!), so i'm getting a second opinion. which doesn't hurt, since ultimately i'm going to do what i want anyway.
but in this odd state of general apathy (still -- blah!), i'm also doing a lot of dillydallying and time wasting... it's like i've frittered my entire day away, except for the socializing with lori earlier this morning (she finally met ryan) and the articulating of emotions. oh, and i finally got a 'salty lemon' drink in chinatown... lori's been describing this thing for months and i always wanted to try it. (it's like drinking a lemon peel.)
i said i was gonna start cleaning house like two hours ago. it's so weird to think that i can/could be so productive. it's like i'm a different person. like, you can see traces of me/my (recent) former life in my life stories and friends and acquaintances, but it feels like that was a lifetime ago. i'm shedding so many skins... i'm changing; i don't know if i'm evolving. and i have no idea what's ahead... except that i'm pretty sure it's calm. and in a sort of twisted way, that kinda scares me. i'm familiar with excitement and drama, but if i get bored, will i lose my mind? this is my fear. psychologically i'm very confused; i want to be excited again, but i'm afraid of being excited about anything and building anything again because i've spent the past how many years being excited and building and i've watched in horror as friendships and relationships were destroyed or irreparably damaged. i don't want anymore of that so i've stopped building. but being stagnant is like being dead. i want to dream a new dream. i need growth. but i guess i also need repair, first. as much as i hate to admit it.
i feel like i haven't said much lately. i had things to say, but didn't really know how to say them, so i just kept them to myself. i guess i'm still pondering things, too. percolating. i feel somewhat inarticulate. and as it is now, i'm still censoring myself on one subject because i am compassionate and loyal (sometimes stupidly so), as some of you may have noticed. but i'm sure you can figure out what i would have said anyway.
oh. and another thing. i know i've said this before, but i would like to again vent that my wedding dresses are being knocked off and my website text somewhat plagiarized. bloggers are using photos from my photoshoots (without proper linkage or credit, rat bastards). so rude. but you know... it comes with the territory and the only way to rise above it is to just rise (or stay above, preferably).
but anyway. i should really clean a little bit. lori and jay have said repeatedly that they think i'll feel better if the things in my house (which are attached to a lot of memories) were gone or at least neater. and i agree. but now i have the energy to do it.
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| Monday, June 22nd, 2009
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4:09 pm - checked out?
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so life has been mellow lately. so mellow that a schedule from my old life pretty much exhausted me on saturday and i had to sleep til noon the next day to recover. and i didn't even stay out late! i got home at 1030 or something.
went to the 100th's 67th anniversary on saturday and that was one really long day. i picked up roy, paul and paul and goro at the clubhouse at 830a. i think i was on my way home at 230 (i dropped them off at the clubhouse so they could drink more), since afterwards i had to go to a wedding with kev. happily i had like an hour break which was a surprise; i thought i was gonna just go home, take a shower and change clothes and turn right around and head out again. but kev said his brother and brother's wife were gonna head down with us and they didn't want to go too early. so we skipped the ceremony. yay.
i didn't think i'd know anyone there besides kevin's friends from the building, but as it turns out i knew the bride's mom from movie stuff/doe curriculum with sen. fukunaga, and adria was at the reception table, and kochi was there with his wife and 2 kids (!). and stanford togashi (since the groom is from waiakea. actually, i think i have a pic of the groom with isaac and jeff from key convention wearing happi coats). and jennifer endo and her mom were there because the bride is their cousin/niece. and jodi kajiwara was there too. i know it's hawaii but still, small world.
anyway, that was the day away from ryan, basically (this past saturday). it's still a little strange, but since the yardwork we've been pretty much inseparable, except for him going to work. lori thought it was kinda funny too; she was like, 'and a month ago you didn't know he existed.' it's been so drama free and full of pleasant surprises, i'm thinking jay was right when he said i was due to meet someone awesome. he's been cleaning and fixing my house, my stuff, me. unlike some people in the past, he's really been improving my quality of life. which is how it should be.
but i need to get ready now ... i'm meeting up with romy for drinks in town. haven't seen her since february.
i still feel subdued though. i think i'm addicted to inspiration and i haven't been inspired in quite some time. then again, all the turmoil with the vets isn't super inspiring either. it's all kind of depressing actually... my haven is now a place i avoid because it feels wrong and weird. then i feel guilty because i don't want the vets to think i don't love them anymore. it's a bad cycle.
anyway. maybe i need some perspective and maybe romy will be able to give me some. i read this article today about pain and how when people say 'poor baby, let me help you' it makes the pain worse and when they say 'aw, suck it up' it makes the pain better. i once made a comment like that to lori ... how the former makes you feel weaker and inadequate and the latter can make you feel empowered. but it depends on who's saying it and what kind of action or support goes with it, if any.
anyway. i really gotta get ready. bye!
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| Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009
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6:32 pm - perpetually dragging my ass
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so i finally kicked myself out of the house at 130 today to go to the really hot swap meet.
and i called the woman who won the maui 'wedding of a lifetime' contest... i'm donating attire for this couple's 10 year vow renewal.
i hung out at ala wai yesterday with goro and co.
other than that, it's been pretty mellow. oh! except for the yardwork... ryan totally helped me clean my yard. and then rearranged the storage. and patio. it doesn't sound like a big feat or anything, but lemme tell ya... it so is. actually, it was so tiring that we skipped hukilau.
i'm still yogore but i'm going to my folks' house for beef stew tonight. yaaaay.
this heat is pretty crappy. i only recently noticed how cranky heat makes me. i honestly don't think i was ever too affected pre-2001. in fact, i liked the hot summer nights because it meant mangos and long days at the beach. now, it just means it's hot and there aren't any sports going on. though i have to say that now that jj is gone i don't really care about uh football too much, and the other sports aren't really grabbing me either, so maybe i don't really care that much.
but still. the heat is kinda sucking.
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| Wednesday, May 27th, 2009
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6:50 pm - um.
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ok, so i'm back on page 1 of google for wedding dresses. that is the amazingly good (and shocking, because i haven't done anything) news. the bad news is that it hasn't translated to sales for beans. it's kind of horrifying, actually. the economy is that bad, i guess. scary.
other than that, i'm kinda liking this ryan guy. he made me dinner, bought me a lightsaber, and cleaned up my cat's barf. and brought me coffee. and juice. at different times. he also volunteered to help me clean my yard. AND my insanely messy other rooms. i think i am officially not underwhelmed. this is definitely more like the world i thought i lived in. thank god.
(i suppose the way to my heart is not only through my stomach, but through helping me sort out my considerable clutter. isn't that romantic? apparently i think so.)
last night i helped kev with his robert's rules of orders stuff for his board meeting. so... 6th grade student government came in handy after all. heehee.
went hiking and beach with tinker, up kuliouou. it was fun! but the vog obscured our view. drat. but it was also a beach day, so i got exercise, too! tinker put together this screener for guys i might date... he is freaking hilarious. it's SO useful!
also found kawela bay with ryan. it's actually not all that, sadly. fishingchad took me there a couple times in college, but i think it was actually a different (nicer, cleaner) place. so lorna, if you're reading this, our day on the grass at turtle bay was well spent. kawela bay has ants!
and kurt's hukilau is turning 2, so, dinner there on saturday. should be fun.
dinner with moon at 3660 tomorrow night, and meeting up with chad for the aloha pure skincare stuff after. ernie wants to ship us half a pallet of stuff. yikes.
and i have a mixer on friday night at jodo shu. sigh.
ok, i need to bocha. i may be late. ack!
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| Wednesday, May 20th, 2009
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11:41 am - the jury is out (versus safe, ha ha)
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so i'm trying to psych myself up to get out of bed and go to the swap meet to pick up stuff for orders. so far i'm having a tough time. however, i did start working: i collected money. go me. and i sent a lot of texts. i've been communicating.
anyway, i shoved a lot of stuff in my spare room and computer room yesterday just in case i had to appear normal. you know, i wasn't always this nuts. my house looked pretty normal 3 years ago. i need to do some olympic purging. but i have to say that appearing normal (ie having a normal looking living room) is good for the self esteem. jay's been telling me to clean house for months and i haven't really had the motivation.
so i have to tell ya... no red flags yet. definitely moving up the food chain.
ok, it's getting hot. dammit. i've dillydallied too long again. i ain't walking around the swap meet in peak heat. blah.
what to do with myself...
maybe i'll eat lunch. yeah.
i think i was too busy yesterday and i overdid it. lori came over at 9 and we went all over the creation: first to the warehouse to drop off previous pickups, then to drop off a chaircover sample for keri (which was a whole tiny bit of trauma in itself; i'll spare you the details but lori and lorna thought it was funny), then to pick up tank tops, then went to a tradeshow which was kinda sad (but we did get free lunch and i got a free 15 minute massage!)... went to waikiki to pick up jewelry, went to khi's, went to ky, went to sc, and then went to the warehouse again while lori was at dc in waipahu.
and then i went home and cleaned so as to appear normal and then i went out to dinner. as it turned out, i didn't need to worry about appearing normal, and that was just fine with me. :)
ok lori's calling me again to make sure i've left. how cool is she?
oh crap... i have to return books to the library soon.
ok. time for lunch!
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| Sunday, May 17th, 2009
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11:13 pm - i can't think of a subject
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so i went to visit jake at the recording studio in hawaii kai on friday (career day!), and lemme say that thing is pretty awesome. it's right on the water, it's massive, and it just feels good. the energy in there just feels very ... productive. it kinda reminded me of my airport office, the way the entrance was this dark staircase leading up. but our airport office wasn't $12M. apparently the studio is top notch... jake gave me the tour and introduced me to the guy that runs it, gaylord (i think jake said he was the keyboardist for kalapana?), who told me some anecdotes about the big names that have recorded there recently.
they were working on the soundtrack (jake's second soundtrack, the japanese version of 'sideways'). it's a pretty painstaking process and i was very impressed with the professionalism of everyone there. at some points jake would be talking to me and then out of the blue would say to the tech guy, 'hey, maybe we should bring up that rhythm ukulele to answer the bass' (or whatever he was saying) and i'd be thinking wow, i have no idea what he's listening for.
a day in the life of jake also included two trips to the health food store and a lot of really healthy organic food. apparently he's on a raw food diet kick, so he got this raw lasagna thingee. i tried one too... i was pretty impressed. surprisingly tasty.
anyway, that was fun.
saturday was the book and music festival at honolulu hale, and i wanted to see james speak at his kanu thing. but i kinda dillydallied getting there and totally missed him talking. so we just chatted briefly and i walked around the festival checking it out. i left the festival to get some acupuncture and texted jake to see when he'd be at the festival since he was supposed to play and i thought if he had time, it would be good if he met james. i can't remember what jake was saying on molokai that made me think he should meet james other than the fact that james is green guy and jake is greenish and organic, but ... well, i like to introduce people and once thought it was a good idea. anyway, it was kinda moot because by the time i went back to the festival and met kev kuni, who'd never seen jake play before, james was gone. and jake had to go get something and barely made it back in time himself anyway.
anyway. so jake's marketing guy kaz was also there and we hung out with him. by chance he just wandered by the back fence, where kev and i were anyway. so he gave me commentary, heehee.
i have to say that being there with that big crowd gave me a new appreciation for jake's crazy talent. i mean, on molokai i was pretty much sitting next to him wondering how the hell he made the uke sound like that, and i was both tickled and blown away, and at the clubhouse he was of course outstanding... but i guess seeing the crowd react like that, and give him a standing ovation... obviously i have nothing whatsoever to do with his talent or how far he's come, because he's worked very hard to get to where he's at, but i just felt proud for him.
afterwards we went with kaz to just say hi, but he was signing autographs and taking photos with fans and that line just kept growing and growing. so finally i was like, let's bail, and was like, bye! but then he stopped and hugged me anyway and shook kev's hand, which made me feel kinda bad because there were all those people still in line. oh well.
anyway.
went home and debated about going out and decided against it. but i did talk to paramedic ryan for a while. he's really funny. i like him.
around 1130 jake called to say that they were back in the studio if i wanted to come down. actually, if i hadn't been all cozied up in bed, i prolly would have gone. but i was tired. instead i stayed up until 140 or so IMing with jay and bruce. at least that didn't require putting on more clothes and leaving the house and driving kinda far. :)
today was fun... went to brunch at bess's house and then ate ice cream with leigh ann and lorn. then went to a fundraiser at the shack with kev and lorn.
and now i'm IMing with bruce again. :)
tomorrow i must do some work. yes.
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| Friday, May 15th, 2009
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12:25 am - a perfect day
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so those don't come along too often, but today was such a day. perfect days always include the beach. :) there's no reset button better than the beach, i say.
so we went boogie boarding with lorna's dad and his friends out at walls. the surf was really good! caught lots of great waves. there're a lot of life lessons in surfing or boogie boarding.
after that we dropped by club 100. i just wanted to introduce lorn to the vets (she calls them 'all stacey's boyfriends' ... haha), but i ended up making warren (a vet) give her a tour. :) and we were there like two hours since it was wine day and kiku kinda thrust two plates and chopsticks and napkins into my hands for us to start eating, as he does. bob arakaki was like, 'oh! you look like yourself again!' (he called me yesterday because he knows there was/is stuff bothering me. we talked for like an hour. he's so cute! but yeah, there's stuff going on at club 100 that makes me sad. because i love the veterans so.) but yeah, that's true... catching waves somehow restores balance and vitality. anyway, it was a full house today and they were happy that i finally brought them another girl to talk to, i think. haha.
anyway, after that we were supposed to work, but we went to eat shave ice at waiola and then we went to ward starbucks and talked story. and then kev kuni came by and we talked more. and as we were walking out we saw james, who i had called on our way to sbux to see if he was there and he didn't call me back. :P but anyway, he wouldn't tell me what time his panel is at the book fair on saturday, so i'll just have to look it up myself.
anyway, then we went to dinner at kakaako kitchen and then we went to sbux in mililani to meet lori. and i couldn't get a signal, so no internet = no work. i swear it says there's a rr speedzone at mililani town center on the oceanic site. false advertising. :P
but yeah. it's late and i really need to get some work done tomorrow morning because i'm going to play in the afternoon. it's round 3 with the visit to the recording studio, except no recording tomorrow, just mixing.
and i've been tired all night long because i haven't been getting much sleep lately (i've been waking up at 5 something am every day! wtf!)... plus i got some actual exercise today, so i told myself i was gonna go sleep early. alas that did not happen as you can see.
but now that i've sufficiently recorded the day's events (though not in as much detail as i would have liked) i can go now.
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| Thursday, May 14th, 2009
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1:40 am - shifting energy
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so i was IMing with vintek today very briefly and it hit me, what's bothering me. i didn't even realize it until i typed the words, but basically it's this: it's raining men, but i don't know if i'm ready for more rain right now. i'm thinking no. but, as always, i feel ungrateful and guilty about it. but you know what, i'm not getting exactly what i want in the way that i want it, so maybe that's a sign too. actually, maybe that's just perfect.
went to dinner with kev and his friends tonight at ichiriki. how crazy is it that his friend's wife was courtney (my college roomie)'s roommate the year i was in northridge? after dinner we went upstairs to the loft, and cory (sp?) and his date/friend came by. it was a lot of fun and i have to say that was the most comfortable i've felt as myself in quite some time. it's hard to describe but i just felt myself sinking into myself. in a good way.
i gotta get some sleep. lorn's home and she and i and her brother went to the swap meet today and then to mini golf and then lunch. that was fun. :) even though for most of the day i was a grouch because i still hadn't made up my mind that i'm in no shape to let silly boy problems bother me. i don't want to think about silly boy problems. i have bigger fish to fry: myself. gimme back dat filet o' fish... gimme dat fiiiiish. but really, yeah. i need a good dose of inspiration asap. or just some discipline. there's all kinds of crap i still need to do and i want myself to pick up the pace.
but yeah, gotta sleep. we're going to the beach tomorrow (today!) and i also really need to get some work done. but i think the beach will do me good... i need some water and perspective. badly.
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| Tuesday, May 12th, 2009
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11:49 pm - and all i could say was 'bleah'
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i kinda wanted to finish up the blur of last week, but old age is kicking in and i seriously can't remember too much now. i am pretty sure that on thursday i went to wine day at club 100. OH.
ok, so thursday morning i had a meeting with aloha pure ernie. he was super stoked about the webstore. like, majorly psyched. it looks kinda plain to me and lori, but at least the banner is nice. but he really almost jumped out of his chair, he was so excited that they would be able to sell things. so that was gratifying. and i gave him some contacts to get into stores and such ie shirokiya. it's kinda funny because they're also trying to get into dfs and my friend aaron is some kind of manager of cosmetics. and we were all at gs last year back in august or something... me and steve and aaron was by himself, bumming because he had to cut his staff's hours. anyway, ernie also gave me a little movie boost and told me i should go fundraise and he'd help me. he sent me some docs that i really should put together for the movie, which was really nice of him.
after that meeting i went to the clubhouse for a little bit, but didn't have any wine, just water. cuz it was so fricking hot. i hung out for a bit but not long because i had another meeting with steve at 2. except i went to the wrong office (steve has two offices downtown in different buildings :P) and was waiting for half an hour, wondering if i had been forgotten, when his office girl called to ask where i was and check if i remembered i had a meeting with steve. doh. anyway, that was a good meeting... i remember feeling pretty hopeful and supported.
i took friday off. slept in, then had lunch with tinker. oh, actually i did get a month's worth of books done, which is a mini feat. woo!
went to dinner with moon at 3660 with the 3660 peeps who had just come back from austria. so russell made goulache (sp?). and carne asada, which struck me as odd. but hey, it was yummy. there were more bottles of wine than people. kinda abunai. but very yummy wines. i cut myself off early but still had consumed a lot more wine than i've had in a while. i got dehydrated.
so after i dropped moon off, i went in search of more water. well, friends and more water. the aiea peeps were at champions, so i rolled on over there. it was nice to see them... i haven't seen them in a while. sean richardson was also there with his friends. then they went home. early. so i bugged chad to come out of his comfy-ness (he was watching stuff on netflix) and meet me. and like a good sport, he did. it was actually kinda late by then. but he had a beer and i had more water and it was nice to catch up with chad.
on saturday i went to dinner with the fam for early mom's day... it was nice. :)
after that kev had said it was cory's bday and they were going to stage, so i called kev when i got home to see what the plan was. it was already kinda late and neither of us really wanted to go, but he called me back after making some calls, i guess, and said to come over when i could. so ... we went, and it was fun. i bumped into paramedic keith from aiea, who was there with his paramedic friends, and it was nice to see him again. keith is actually pretty funny... he was like, you know andre lopez? and i'm like, yeah, he was my ics 101 student. and he was like, 'he's here!' and i was like really? and he was like, yeah, he's right there. and we both turn and stare at a guy who is staring at us who is not andre, but a friend of andre. heehee. ok, maybe you just had to be there.
anyway, we ended up closing the place down. despite the not wanting to go and stuff i ended up having a decent time. and i got to dance. reluctantly. what's up with my bad attitude? i'm such a grouch.
so anyway, it was actually a pretty eventful weekend.
there is actually a lot going on.
i was habut yesterday so i took yesterday off. but i did send my cpa some tax stuff, so it wasn't a total wash. and i read some books. i was nice to my grouchy self.
i had dinner with bob and nancy, goro, amanda, jayne, and betty tonight at sunrise. afterwards i was going to check out jake recording at the studio, but dinner went really late and when i dropped goro off he gave me some fish, so i just decided to head home. which was just as well, because they finished early and were headed home too.
and now i'm really tired. and i have to say that i had some excitement this weekend (that i didn't really write about here, sorry), but now i'm a little salty. i'm also kinda confused, which does not help me. i am confused, salty girl.
yeah. i'm going to go with that.
and now i'm going to sleep on it.
nighty night.
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| Saturday, May 9th, 2009
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5:52 pm - more or less me ... and stuff i learned this week
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so a pretty smart person told me recently that i don't know how to receive things. ok, it wasn't recently; it was like... march or something. but it sunk in only now. you know how you learn something in school but it's really just words until you actually do it, and then you really get it? so i had that experience this week. and the thing i realized was... if you want to attract strength, sometimes you just have to be weak.
this week i basically wailed to everyone who would listen about how i need movie help. how i'm tired. i'm burnt out. how i still really want to do this, but damn if i'm not going to die from all the energy i'm expending (sometimes inefficiently). i complained to the vets. i complained to their kids. i complained to steve. i've been complaining to tinker for a while but this time i actually whined about something that he's good at and could help me with, so that helped. but you know what? i'm getting help. it's not that i haven't gotten help at all these years; i know i have gotten lots of help. but ... i don't know how to describe this. this is help on a different level.
so i wrote the vision thing, which tinker critiqued and said there was some mission stuff in there, but i sent it all to steve anyway and you know what? he's going to just do it for me. hooray!
i have just been rewarded for being incompetent. :) i'm so doing it again.
anyway, i've been busy. i was actually in hiding for a while and now that i'm done hiding i can get back to my (pretty blessed) life.
on tuesday i borrowed my mom's van again (my mom fixed my car! yay mom! for the first time since... i was in high school, i think) and headed to the clubhouse for the first time in what seems like forever. the vets really missed me. :) i really felt warm and fuzzy and loved. what wasn't warm and fuzzy and loving was finding out about all the turmoil going on at the clubhouse, though. it seems club 100 is operating in a deficit and has been (a smallish deficit though; nothing a small fundraiser couldn't cure or some minor estate planning) for a few years. the sad thing is that amanda will probably leave due to some stuff going on that i don't fully understand because i'm not on the board. amanda really cares about the vets and is actually the one who got the grant money for their learning center from the state, so the fact that she's being pushed out is extremely disappointing and unfair from my perspective. anyway, i was pretty bummed about it on tuesday because i hate to see the vets so upset (mostly mr. arakaki, but also goro) ... but my newfound calm is telling me that things will be okay, even if they're bumpy first. whether that's premonition or optimism plus denial i'm not sure yet, but time will tell.
anyway, goro fed me beef stew and robert shared his tonkatsudon with me. there are many things i cherish about the vets but i think the sharing of food thing is one of the most memorable. i suppose it's pretty universal to feed those you love but i just find them extremely adorable. maybe it's because i like the snacks they share? i mean, i appreciate it when people share anything with me but i guess it's just better if you really like the stuff they are giving you. or maybe it's the way that i can show up unannounced, but they'll always redistribute so that everyone (meaning me) is included. i don't quite know how to explain it. blah. they're cute, i think they're wonderful.
anyway, i took goro to ala wai to hang out with paul and isa, and then went to pick up jewelry. i came back and we stayed another hour or so. then it was time to pick up my car, so i took goro home and went to my mom's house and we got my car. i have to say that i haven't been so babied by my mom since i was in college, and then maybe not even then. i always assumed it was my responsibility to pay/find my own way for almost everything (i've been gainfully employed since i was 14), but while i was camping out at my mom's house she started treating me like she treats my brother and i was like... holy crap, i am being SO babied. and it was really nice. :) i think i just realized that for many years i've actually been depriving my mom of being my mom.
anyway, that was tuesday. i was kinda stressed out by the news from club 100 so i went to my parents' house again and read some books and basically relaxed... something i'm not really good at. it felt quite nice.
but then kev called and said he and co were going to airport sbux, so i grabbed my laptop and went to go meet them. but i didn't get any work done. oh well. i did drink a chocolate shake from big kahuna... that was good. airport sbux closes at 10... that's kinda early. but i was tired anyway. and i wasn't getting any work done. :P but i guess socializing is also good. at least we got to hear about how kev's best man speech went.
wednesday i went to pick up eddie and then we went to the 442 foundation meeting. pam was there too. it was a long meeting. and i didn't get the foundation to make the movie an official project, but i did get ted, eddie and george to pledge help and say i could use their names on my letterhead as advisory board people. so... yay for me.
and i think i was done around 2 pm on wednesday and again, was so tired i just went to my mom's house to hang out and relax. i seriously think i've made a great discovery... when feeling crappy, show up at parents' house, whimper a little, and then people will be nice to me. :)
anyway, we're taking mom out for early mother's day, so i better go. gotta get ready. i'll finish this up later (maybe).
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| Tuesday, May 5th, 2009
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1:30 am - i'm ready now
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so lorna the ultimate kelly clarkson fan gave me the new kelly clarkson cd for my bday (hence subject). i was talking to her on saturday and she said 'ready' was a happyish theme song (i think the theme song thing came from 'ally mcbeal' which she also loved... and when i was sick in seattle in her apartment in what, 1998?, i think i watched like half the season).
anyway, i think that perhaps i may be ready to dump this funk i've been in for a freaking long time. i've had good days followed by bad, but i think that maybe, just maybe, this time normal stacey will stick.
i'll keep you posted.
so today i sent my cpa my books for 2007 so he can finally do my taxes. this is huge. huuuuuuuuge. HUUUUUUGE. i have been putting this stuff off since october (i was really busy and then got burnt out and did not want to do anything). doing the books may not seem like a big deal to most of you out there, but lemme tell you... doing books for a small business with as many transactions (vendors) as i have is really not that much fun. well... i take that back. it can be fun. but in this case it wasn't. but that's because of my mindset. maybe i can get myself on a roll and crank out 2008 as well.
i also had dinner with moon tonight at chiba ken. the place was slammed. what economic turmoil? kojiro (owner) has some good problems on his hands.
and i called les (chef les) to see if he was on the island since he often is though he lives on maui (he wasn't) to ask if he wanted to go to dinner with me and moon (but only if he was on the island). and he explained to me what he wants to hire jake for and i was like.... ohhhhh. it's a great idea. anyway, good thing jake comes home soon. he's not so good with email. and there was more talk of the next luau in dc. i actually think it may be time to get involved... he and jon yoshimura do not seem to be nailing down a date. les said they always end up talking about something else. i'm glad they're such good friends now. it's gratifying. i almost feel like i set them up and they're getting married or something.
i also worked on the aloha pure skincare store stuff... another project i was kinda dragging ass on. that is also a miracle.
and tonight, after i got home from dinner, i wrote the vision for the movie. steve gave it to me as homework (and writing a mission as well but i'll do that tomorrow) and i was completely stuck for two weeks. like, i was actually starting to panic because the words just would not come. wayne had promised to write a synopsis months ago and he sent it today, and i read it, loved it (though he said it was mostly a bunch of poorly formed sentences) and went to dinner. i got home and started writing and it was cake.
there's some crazy black magic going on, that's for sure.
bring it on! :)
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| Sunday, May 3rd, 2009
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1:59 am - a momentous occasion
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so i finally steamcleaned the carpet. which is a small miracle. no, i take it back... it's a HUGE miracle. because i'm having all kinds of trouble mustering energy. and let me tell you... steamcleaning the house of uninspired stacey is quite the monumental effort.
but it wasn't that painful. it wasn't painful at all, actually. yay self care!
and lorna is coming home to visit. for a sad reason, so i'm sad for her, but i'm insanely happy for myself because i will have a playmate again for a few days.
and now i'm going to give myself a foot massage. which is actually kinda sore, but in an oddly pleasing way. like, it feels like productive pain. are foot massages sore for everybody? or are my internal organs just really messed up?
apparently i am also chronically dehydrated, but that's not news.
oyasumi!
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| Sunday, April 26th, 2009
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1:29 am - once i thought i was wrong but i was mistaken
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i had a button that said that when i was in 8th grade or something. or maybe they were post-its. at any rate, i thought it was funny because i never thought i was wrong, never second-guessed myself. never really had a reason to.
but of course, with age comes experience, and inevitably i've been wrong in this lifetime. really wrong. but i'm not wrong often and i think (and i said this four months ago) when i am in fact wrong, i really do not know how to handle it. because i'm so used to being right, everything coming up roses, etc. i've been very fortunate in life and the tradeoff is, i guess, that when you expect everything to work out for you and it usually does, the few times that things go wrong (and in some cases in the past few years, they went horribly wrong), it really throws you for a loop. i mean, obviously no one LIKES to be wrong... but my point is ... when you are more accustomed to being wrong you are probably much more graceful about it when it happens and you don't go into this existential crisis or emotional tailspin. i think i've questioned/doubted myself maybe three times in life, but this is the first time my self esteem was under assault (from myself). i guess that's like self esteem cancer. good thing it can be beat.
it's a really weird experience. gradually i've accepted things more as i've gained more perspective and really, right now i'm fine. and i was fine-ish monday, tuesday, wednesday. and not fine on thursday and friday. it's almost like there are multiple mes in here. i usually say variety is the spice of life, but in this case i would like to be my usual happyish, confident self for most of the time because anything less is really nowhere near as much fun. (or productive.)
i've often remarked that i wished i knew where it was that i got my (usually) incredible self esteem and that i could bottle it, because seriously, if everyone had great self esteem the world would be so much more awesome and i'd be super wealthy while making the world a better place, isn't that ideal?
plus it would also be good to be able to save some for rainy days. too bad it doesn't work that way.
anyhow, it will come back.... i just need to win some. be nice to myself (which is actually harder than i realized). i've always appreciated my sense of self esteem, but i wonder if i will appreciate it more when it's back for good (now? pretty please?) 'cause now i know how much it sucks to actually lose it.
...
actually, the subject doesn't really have anything to do with the bit i just wrote above.... i was going to write more about the entry below instead. so i'll do that now. (i guess i get carried away quite easily.)
so. i didn't like what the entry seemed to say (to me)... to me it said i didn't know how to be happy as a single person. and i thought, REALLY!? and that bothered me. because i never thought of myself as a person who couldn't be happy without a boyfriend. to the contrary really; i didn't like having a boyfriend, didn't want to be tied down, etc. until maybe my mid twenties.
so for a week i've been pondering this thought: do i not know how to be happy single? and at first my answer was: maybe not! and i was kinda horrified. i felt like maybe i forgot how. and i started feeling bad about that, because i didn't want it to be true, yada yada. but today i realized that no, it isn't true. and for that i went back to last year, hanging out with james and his friends. i wasn't interested in any of them, but i was perfectly happy going to starbucks with them to do my books. (i don't know why it took me a week to realize this.) so my first statement, that i don't know how to be happy by myself, is false. i prefer to be with other people, but i can in fact be content by myself (like working at the office...which i haven't done yet this year, but i attribute that to the self esteem crisis and not as a sign that i can't do anything and be happy doing it alone. plus i still hate the new office). i like people. i'm a social person. but i can be happy alone. i'm just happier when i'm not.
what i also said four months ago (i was rather observant back then.... too bad i lacked perspective or i could have saved myself some time) was that i lacked stability in my personal relationships. there's been a lot of turnover the past few years and that has really not been fun. it's been bad for my psyche. lori had a good suggestion for that tonight... i should hang out with more girls. then i don't have to worry about things getting weird, or people getting crushes, or anything. i think for the most part right now the male friends i have are safe-ish... but for a little while i was (probably oversensitive) feeling really tired of trying to get the message 'stop pawing at me!' across. and honestly, it's nice to be admired, hit on, what have you, but sometimes a girl just wants to be safe and hang out. it's too bad it would be weird to hand out notecards to guys that say 'i'm not remotely interested in you and you have no chance whatsoever, but i like you as a person so if you want to be my friend, i've heard worse ideas.' because sometimes life would just be so much easier if you were able to do that kind of thing. sure there would be hurt feelings, but at least it wouldn't drag out.
as for #2 ...i know exactly why i'm not happy with myself (and i'm not sharing it here, sorry). but if i was wrong with my beliefs, so were a lot of other people who i consider intelligent and who i respect. so i need to just stop beating myself up.
it's like... stacey, that's enough.
but i chuckle when i remember IMing with vintek and i said that i had this big realization; that i wasn't happy with myself! and he was like, this is a mystery? heehee. i got sidetracked with a lot of old emotional garbage for a few weeks and then came back to myself... but forgot in the meantime. (i think i resolved them. i hope i did.)
anyway, vaughn and bess took me to dinner for my bday tonight. thanks guys. :) apparently i didn't talk to vaughn AT ALL last year because i was telling some stories or referred to some people and she had absolutely no idea what i was talking about. anyway, it was a very nice time and since vaughn picked me up i got to get tipsy. :)
went out last night with kev guys 'cause rodd was home for a bit. started off at sidestreet (and guch and mooney were there and i didn't even see them! kev had to point 'em out) and went to bonsai (for the first time)... met jaydence guys there... i really like pearl city girls. they are just nice people. then we went to oceans where 'dalton' let us in (well, except for poor kev, who had to pay cover) where i bumped into a very drunk bart from ama days and larry guys (who were at bonsai earlier).
the joy list is now the joy/pleasure list. 'cause actually, joy is a bit more elusive than pleasure. and i think the things on my list are actually things that give me pleasure, but may not make me joyful.
i actually showed up on time for the a company meeting today... goro made me an omelette. awww. :) and then some lady walked into the clubhouse selling laulau for her halau (kinda random) and goro and kuni bought some from her and gave it to me. awww.
i want my (general) apathy to end.
movie apathy, i think, needs to be addressed by either a) massive help or what i perceive to be massive help or b) a buddy of sorts (which is also perceived as massive help). like... i'm not exactly sure that this is true, but it feels true... i told lori yesterday that i just want to be carried. like, ten yards. if i can just get somebody to carry me for ten yards, i feel like i would run the rest of the way myself. but right now i'm like, dude, can you please just carry me? and he's like, no, you can do it! just keep walking, it's only ten yards. and i'm like... aaaaggghhh!
i think tinker was right when he suggested that now would be a good time to work on that communication disconnect.
if i muster the energy. it's kind of a chicken and egg thing. also like juggling. the good thing about that is: i can actually juggle.
which is not to say that titus (my awesome friend and writing partner) is not a buddy. he most certainly is. without titus there would be no almost-finished script, that's for sure. i am certainly very appreciative of titus and all the work he's put in already. but the buddy i'm talking about above is like... marketing. it's actually one prong of my three pronged plan to make this sucker tip. i've been thinking about this for a couple weeks now (prong one for a month or two) and while i think i have most of it down, i haven't nailed down all the details in my mind.
the movie is a source of schizophrenia, too. it gives me energy and joy and also takes an incredible amount of energy, though when i'm inspired and everything i don't really notice. but for now i've been kinda wanting to not think about the movie and just get some energy back, but i seriously can't stop thinking about it. it's like it's morphed into me, like ... venom, except venom's kinda... twiggy and i don't think i'm twiggy. or evil.
anyway.
wow, i stayed up late writing this. i was IMing with bruce and he went idle on me.
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| Saturday, April 18th, 2009
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6:46 pm - day 1
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so a few astonishing things sank in/were discovered very recently:
1. i don't know how to be happy by myself! (ok, that wasn't new)
2. i'm not happy with myself.
wtf?
seriously... what's not to love? i am so bewildered. i need to have a good talking to.
anyway, it's time to undo that crap. fo' shizzle. i'm going to be so (sickeningly!) nice to myself i'm going to barf. ok, maybe not because i don't like barfing, but you get the idea.
also, tinker was full of good advice today. thanks for the bday company, pretty drive, lunch and cupcakes, tinker. you rule, ok? :)
so the joy list is taking shape:
2) going to the beach
3) hanging out with friends (though this does require other people...)
4) eating cupcakes (but not 2.5 of them at one time)
5) eating yummy food in general
so i got to do four of those today and now i'm going to do two more (one being another instance of #3 and another another instance of #5). off to gaku with beau and the unit doctor, whoever he is.
except beau was like, 'i'm still looking for a hotel room' and i was like, dude, do you want to stay here? because it seems stupid for him to get a hotel room for one night. except i would have appreciated some notice because as you know, i live like a crazy person and there is no room anywhere. he was like, 'i just need some floor space, i'm a soldier.' and i was like... boy, you have no idea.
ok now i'm super late gotta go!
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| Thursday, April 16th, 2009
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11:12 pm - from pause to fast forward
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it was a really busy day. and i want to write about it but i seriously need some sleep. desperately. i shall sleep to write another day. which makes you kinda wonder... why did i even bother writing this much only to say i was tired and i'd come back later? because... i was going to write, and then i changed my mind.
:)
atode.
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5:51 am - birds are chirping and my neighbors are leaving to go to work
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and i still haven't gone to sleep yet. aaaaaagh.
it was the coffee i had for lunch, i just know it. sigh.
but i did watch the susan boyle vid on youtube like three times. yay for lori. i watched the much shorter clip on the news but this is way better.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY
ok, now i'm watching it again and i'm still tearing up. i don't think this will ever get old.
alrighty, i must bury my head under a pillow or something and hide from the sun and try to get some sleep now. wish me luck.
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2:29 am - another year, another dollar
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so i'm officially in my 'mid thirties' now, having turned 34 yesterday. i have to say i don't really care too much, though i guess 'mid thirties' does sound kinda old. but not really old. like i told stevethebruin, you know who's old? goro. but that man is indestructible. he's 55 years older than i am.
lori took me to lunch at waioli tea room today. :) lori is like, the best best friend ever. i may say this a lot, but it's only because it is true. and i have a lot of phonecalls to return... i left my phone at home. doh.
when i checked my email this morning i was pretty overwhelmed by the bday wishes on facebook. how cool! :) it seriously made me feel loved. it was actually pretty clutch... i've been needing some love lately.
kev rounded up jigsaw and some of his other friends and we all went to kampai for drinks tonight. i had two glasses of sangria and a girly shot courtesy jigsaw. i think that's the most alcohol i've had since... oh. haha! since monday (yeah, not too long ago) when i went to chibaken with moon and his nephew (there were 3 of us and 3 bottles of wine!)... that is how moon rolls. anyway, it was a very nice bday. :)
in other news, everyone is home this week. beau, sproutman, and steve. oh... even nik is home (i just found out tonight)! yay for friends. except i haven't seen anyone yet... let's go, people!
but right now i think i need some sleep cuz my head hurts.
nighty night, true believers.
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| Sunday, April 12th, 2009
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1:22 am - canyon ranch west
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so i've been mellowing out on my parents' couch for the past week or so. i decided to check myself in after falling asleep on their couch one night and woke up to my mom asking me if i wanted breakfast. it was then that i realized that i like people and people noise and the fact that there was food right there, readily available, without me having to do anything was pretty much magic. i mean, how nice is it to have someone taking care of you?
so i decided to stay.
my mom was so cute about it... she was so thrilled. i helped her with yardwork one day and helped with dinner a couple other times and went to the er with her and my aunty when my aunty fell and hit her head. all things that took little effort on my part, but my mom was so appreciative, i was glad i was there to help. and last night i stayed up till 330 talking with my dad. i haven't done that in a while. it was fun... sort of like dorming, with going back to my own place to shower sometimes or grab clothes and feed my cat, poor thing. it was pretty relaxing... i didn't do much work as i was trying to be on vacation. i did read a lot of 442 books though... the ones i added to my library recently. i'm percolating. i actually got my mom to start reading 'and then there were 8'... the book about i company. heh.
i haven't really done much socializing lately. i did enjoy having coffee/tea with lori at starbucks on monday and tuesday though, and there's a new business deal in the works which will hopefully turn into passive income for me once it's launched and some kind of decent income stream for lori. it has a lot of potential, that's for sure. and steve is involved.
i did have that meeting with ted, eddie, and titus... ted treated us to lunch at honolulu country club on wednesday. they have really good dessert. anyway, it was a good meeting... good feedback... i get the feeling that ted would help us write if i bugged him enough. at any rate, he's helping billy tucci (yes, the guy who wrote 'shi') with the pidgin in 'sgt rock' comics. but ted did acknowledge that what titus and i are doing is a lot harder than writing a comic book.
i finally got my hair cut. yay. :) my head feels a lot lighter. and my spirit feels a little lighter.
lori thinks i should go on a trip. i think she's right. but i don't wanna go myself, and i don't really want to go to la for the vc film fest. yeeeah.
i'm still waiting to be tipped.
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